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POV: your gassy friend is on the verge of being fired from h..

POV: your gassy friend is on the verge of being fired from his job because his farts smell so bad that the smell prevents him from concentrating. You get the bright idea to sit in with him and act as an air filter, huffing up all of his putrid sulfuric gas, each blast more intense than the last. Earlier this morning, you warned him not to eat so many egg and sausage biscuits with cheese because he’s lactose intolerant and they would only upset his stomach, but he didn’t listen. Now on lunch, he tries to pat the smell out of his shorts, but his shorts had become so imbued with the odor from his farts that it was only making the smell in the room thicker, so he decided to change into a fresh pair. While on lunch you become worried as you watch him scarf down egg salad sandwiches, one after another. Knowing that you both have an entire 4 more hours to go, you plead with him to save the rest for later, explaining that eating more would only make it harder for you suck all the odor. After taking your request into consideration, he then rewraps the remainder of the sandwiches and takes them into the kitchen. You sigh in relief as you hear the refrigerator door open and close. As he returns to the room, you immediately notice the large branded cup in his hand. Fearful that a carbonated drink would make his farts louder and bubblier, you ask him if he’s indeed drinking a soda of some kind. He rejects your query, claiming that he gave up pop months ago. Just as you begin to take ease from his response, he states that it’s a milkshake that he is holding. Your eyes widen because you know that milkshakes give him the worst gas. Now staring from the hillside, halfway to the top, gazing up at the peak of the mountain you begin to question your resolve. Was this challenge ever surmountable? Or was it a fool’s errand from the start? Will you be able to help your friend? Or will you both be overtaken by the smell of his eggy emissions?


P.S. I really did eat all of the foods mentioned and I can now confirm that the more eggs you eat, the EGGIER your farts will smell! Do you think you could survive?

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