“like the trains, she’s never on time and always departing” ..

“like the trains, she’s never on time and always departing” also I asked earlier if you all would be interested in more personal posts, so I thought I’d give that a try with a little behind the scenes for this one:) this shoot was so much fun! the photographer and I had originally planned on going to just one location, a park. but when we got there, there were way too many people. we tried finding a secluded spot but couldn’t, so we ended up roaming around the city and shooting in random places as we figured it out! that’s how we ended up at a random baseball field. he then mentioned this train track bridge. we got over to it as the sun was setting, and it was kind of scary to walk to this part of the bridge ahh. it was ~10ish minutes (because I was slow and scared lol) walking on train tracks that were pretty high up. it actually reminded me of when I first visited this city a few years ago, well before moving here. @bendybaby took me to climb a bridge that was I think 70 ft tall. at the time, I’d been encountering a lot of anxiety, but you can’t exactly worry about much else when you have to focus on going up a super high ladder safely. people always assume I’m an adrenaline junky and not afraid of heights since I’m an aerialist, but that’s actually not true at all. so climbing up that bridge and then a ~140 ft bridge the next day felt like a true accomplishment🖤 and I also felt like I’d finally made a step towards being less anxious. fast forward a few years, and I moved to that city. one of the first things I did here was climb that 140 ft bridge alone, which in hindsight probably wasn’t the brightest idea haha. the first time I did it — with @bendybaby — felt like the beginning of a change, and then doing that by myself right when I moved farthest yet from home marked another transition. it was at a time in my life when lots of things needed an ending, and it felt like a meaningful way to have a healthier start. (side note: the first time climbing it, though, was also the first day anyone took nudes of me! we did it in the nearby field 🖤 hehe thanks @bendybaby!) ok ok now I’m rambling ahh good night loves! 💜