I’ve been using opioids and went way off the deep end. My wh..

I’ve been using opioids and went way off the deep end. My whole life revolves around using and I was doing it IV every 2 hrs. Before that I was on benzos and fake OC 30s spending over $1900 a week. I’m living with my parents so I have no reason to spend any money they buy all my basic needs. $1200 was going to just substances like c0ke, perkz, benzos, and most recently GHB aand fetty. the worst of it came when I started getting and using straight up f3nt powder I wasn’t even measuring it it was pure too my tolerance was out of this world. You know it’s bad when you don’t have a supplier anymore because he tells u he doesn’t want u to die… I tried using weaker pills instead but it wouldn’t do anything that’s when I ordered a even stronger designer f3nt analogue that you can’t even measure in a scale and I tried to just take a salt grain under my tongue and OFF I go sitting outside the bar I I’d literally just started working at not even two weeks before the crisis. I had the bes chance and the most caring alpha woman AGM. i know you guys know I’m a very very submissive straight guy and I genuinely need a (loving empathic witch) domina to help me navigate this cold world since I’m too warm, sweet, and easily used by wrong people. She was the right woman but my lack of sobriety ducked it up and im back in turmoil. We really connected like out of empathy and instant respect for her as a domme made her have an immediate softness towards me and nobody else. Mmmm her bossy pussy power turned me extra obedient and sweet like I just couldn’t help it I’m naturally like a pet with certain women. I just love 💕 how opposites attract too yea it’s embarrassing af still being all smooth for hairy women it’s an unspoken attractiveness. It’s just a thing. She did not mind me working in my Lululemon tank top and shirts but she was upset that they might get dirty and then she started wearing smaller sized shirts that showed her pit hair. One good thing about benzos is you say what’s in your mind. I don’t remember what I said but she blushed it was something very nice. I wanted to be sober so fucking bad l tried to use the bare minimum to not be sick but I ended up turning into a little basket case in between shifts because of the stress and the withdrawals starting plus the stress plus feeling “small “ so I purposeful cry when she walked by on only the third day of work my crazy brains wanted nothing but her (extra hairy) arms around me which said babe let’s talk or you’re fired… I said I just can’t do this. She said what? Exist. She was 9 months sober and risk me to being my (prescribed meds) tk her apartment and convince her why my life is so awful that I need to poison my “gorgeous” body and mind. Also she’s been growing her bush until she met a sun like me. Said sure but I needed to get something from my car … I Od immediately after touching the powder luckily she followed me to my car. Has narcan in her purse whjch wasn’t enough and she did CPR until the EMS comes they had rn has to use sk mjch narcan that it gave me a heart attack sk…… I spent most of Juky in the ICU… I was wkthkht oxygen for over 3 mins. the first two pics were when I was using and shooting ul and the other pics are current. Thank god all the steroids in my bkdy kept my muscle mass. I’m really fucked guys. I need her back but I scared her ti death she loves me but a lot of dommes fall for me they don’t understand why I can’t learn to love myself. I’ve never had a proper relationship with a domme thkugh. We do need each other. Her huge bush was gonna protect me how sweet instill feel like I’m not supposed to be this way yer we’re both NB. I’m calling out to all alpha females who follow me… am I worth it? Do you appreciate how much I want to please you and love you, yet I still hate myself? Can I bury my face in your bush abs lick you until I’m swaklkwjnf you’re pussy juice?