In reference to my last post, I would like to add that I sti..
Added 2023-02-11 17:39:25 +0000 UTCIn reference to my last post, I would like to add that I still struggle. I probably will one way or another for the rest of my life, as does everyone. Whether that be triggers, temptations, or just missing the chaos, and I do miss the chaos. A lot sometimes. I enjoyed not knowing what was going to happen next, I enjoyed the thrill of playing russian roulette with my life and the law. I’m not really sure why and it’s even more confusing that I miss aspects of it sometimes. Thankfully, I just know it’s not worth it anymore. It was torment every single day. I’ve been shot at, I’ve had loaded guns put to my head. I’ve suffered a lot of trauma because of situations I’d put myself in just so I could get high. It’s insane to think about lmao and looking at me, talking to me, most would never guess. Even in the midst of it all, drug dealers would look at me and tell me “this life ain’t for you” as they dropped the drugs in my hand and they were right because I’m worth more than that and so are you. Even if it’s not drugs, everyone tortures themselves in someway, at some point because they don’t feel they’re worthy and it’s a life long quest to learn how to fill your own cup. Idk I’m just sitting in the car thinking about how far I’ve come and wanted to share:) thanks for reading
